Rejected!?

Truth is we don't know yet. Hurry up........then wait. Connor still hasn't engrafted, which is scarier
by the day. He could be a late engraftment or he could be rejecting the transplant. There is either hope......or all is lost this time. If he is a late engraftment it will happpen in time. If the transplant didn't work we get to start over. That means more intense Chemo, more throwing up, diarrhea, more grouchiness, more mouth sores, less taste buds, less hair, and an even higher chance of secondary cancer. It seems the treatments are as toxic as the cancer. He is finally able to eat some, which makes me happy. He can finally taste, which makes him happy. He has lost tons of weight. He has no hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. My God does his suffering never stop? They did a Bone Marrow Aspirate today to see if the Leukemia is back. They gave him Versed and Propofol to knock him out. Propofol!? Isn't that how Michael Jackson died? Dang worried the whole time he was under. Still waiting on test results, the wait seems to never end. Dr. Stine told us before we came down here that survival rates didn't matter. He was right. Either your child survives.....or they don't. It is either 100% or 0%. Folks there is really no cure for cancer. There are treatments but that is not the same. A cure means it is gone forever. Treatment means you are treating it, trying to control it. Thats why you see all the searches for a cure. Connor has been so sick, and the hard part is there is nothing I can do to fix it. He wants to be camping, fishing, and swimming. He deserves a normal childhood. I don't know how he will hold up if he has to do it all over. I know that I can't lose my son. Absolutley not, its not a possibilty. I feel like the air just got sucked out of my lungs for thinking about it. I know that is a very real possibility and it terrifies me to think that possibility is related to my son. My son the happy kid who talks trash, My son the happy kid that plays video games, that enjoys the outdoors, my snuggle bug, My one true joy in life. I pray to God that this dang transplant takes and that Connor's Journey is about to get alot easier. Notice I said easier not over. When the Journey is over it means the end, nothing worked. We definetly don't want the Journey to be over just please God make it easier. This is almost to much for this Mom to bear.

Its Gotta Get Worse Before It Gets Better, Right?

Connor came thru his transplant as expected, but now we have all these side effects of the radiation, chemo, transplant, and other drugs wrecking havoc on his little body. he has been running fever, which they say to some degree can be expected with transplant. He has mouth sores, throat sores, really he has sores all along his gastrointestinal tract from the Chemo and Radiation. This leaves him in excrutiating pain. They are now giving him Morphine to help manage the pain. Due to all the drugs and radiation in his body Connor is violently ill throwing up throughout the day, and has very watery stools. In fact he cant control his bowels right now and is constantly having accidents, even in his sleep. He is embarrassed by all of this. He doesn't even want me to see. His bottom is very sore and bleeding due to the loose stools. He is very lethargic, not even wanting to play his beloved video games most of the time. He is understandibly irritable right now. He is tired of having his body put through Hell. He can't eat, drink, or swallow. His mouth does not produce muccus and he has thick foamy stuff that he throwsup because of it. It is called muccusitis. It is very painful. He continues to push forward........striving to beat the Demon Disease Cancer at the hand it has delt him. He goes forward because he can't turn back. He goes forward because he knows his Mama is scared to death and wants to comfort her. He goes forward because he wants to beat the odds. He goes forward because there is no other options. Forward is the only way to go when your back is against the wall. Continue to pray for Connor as he continues to give it his all and Kick the Sickies out of his little body. Go Connor my Angel without wings......show Cancer you mean business.

New Fighter Cells In, Kicking Sickies Out!

Connor got his Bone Marrow Transplant Yesterday! We are so glad to get that behind us. He threw up nonstop, His nose wouldn't quit running, and was sneezing all the way thru it, but we got the Stem Cells in his little body! Time will only tell if he develops GVHD or if his body rejects the transplant, but we are standing on our faith that all will be well! He was running a fever earlier but it came down after about two hours. The day of Transplant is called Day Zero. He is starting new. His body has the immune system of a premature baby basically. Now he gets to celebrate two birthdays! This new one will be June 8th, they had him a birthday party and brought in presents for him. I think about it and realize it really is a second birthday. He got a new lease on life, brand new stem cells, his life really does start over that day. He is still very fragile, just like a newborn would be. We will celebrate this day every year in addition to the 20th of June (his original birthday) because he has a new life. God bless the families that gave their babies cord blood to save my son! I would give anything to meet them and to hug them and just let them know what their awesome gift has given our family! I would like to encourage everyone to donate cord blood if they are not planning on having it saved for their own babies. Those of us who can no longer have babies I would love for each and everyone of you to Be The Match for someone else and donate bone marrow. There are thousands of adults and children alike that die each year waiting for a match. I can't wait to get registered and pass the gift on to someone else! My Mom left today to go back to Oklahoma. I miss her so much, as does Connor. I have such an amazing Mom I hope to someday be the mother that she is. She has always sacrificed so much for us kids, never asking for anything along the way. I have been so blessed with such a wonderful loving family. They do so much to support us and one another. God Bless them and all of you guys who continue to pray for us!