San Antonio

Well, here we are. We made it to San Antonio, and I forgot how crazy the roads are down here! Its alot different than the slow pokes back home. LOL I love you slow pokes though! We were at the hospital all day today. It was alot of information, some of it wasn't stuff I wanted to hear but you know me, gotta know it all! We found out today that Connor has over a 90% chance of being sterile after all of this. That breaks my heart to know. Even though I have heard it and read it before it was hard to hear from his doctors. We also found out that without a transplant his chances of Leukemia coming back is 85% and that with the transplant the chances of it coming back are 25%. Still not the chances I would like to hear but at least it is an improvement! I miss my husband and feel so alone in all of this. It feels like my family is being torn apart and I have no control over it. I worry so much about Connor and how he is going to hold up Physically and Emotionally thru all of this. I wonder if he will ever have to worry about a relapse again or if this will fix it. Everyone is so optimistic about all of this, but it is hard for me to be positive. Life has went to crap over the last 2 years and I can't do diddly crap about it! I wish we knew what caused this crap in the first place. Where did it come from? Could we have stopped it? Can we prevent it from coming back? Grrr just wish we could get this over with and he could have a normal life. He is such a great kid and deserves to have a normal disease free life. He shouldn't have to go thru this. Anyways I am rambling so I will quit. Maybe I will write more tomorrow.
Amy